Half-Way to the Circus (or Crazy Town)

The proud big brother. It amazes me how big he is already!

How has it been over a YEAR since my last post?! I feel like I need to do an update on Dominic, but that can wait, since I've been putting off making my first weekly pregnancy post, round two...

The day before I went to Chicago in May, I called Brian and told him that I thought I was prego. After many negative pregnancy tests in Chicago (hello wine at dinner...whoops), I finally got a positive one the day we returned home. I was so freaking happy! But I knew something was off - I was super nauseous and tired all the time and I felt much further along than I was. My training runs in May and running Dam to Dam were pretty awful!

Shortly after Dam to Dam, I had a nightmare dream that we were having twins. I waited two days before saying anything to Brian, and then he said he had the same feeling. Waiting at the doctor's office before my 7-week ultrasound felt like a mini-doomsday. We googled odds of having twins and I met all the factors that are correlated with a higher likelihood of having twins - taller than 5'5" (wtf, don't get that one), over the age of 30, and twins in the family. We told the tech that we had a feeling, and when that picture first came up on the screen with the two black "holes" all I could say was "Sh*t" and "F*ck" over and over while laughing. I know I'm right all the time (just ask Brian and my parents) but couldn't I have been wrong for once?! :D Then the tech told me to stay still (aka stop being a maniac) so she could measure the babies, and I started crying. And that crying didn't really stop for about 8 more weeks.

I read every book from the library on having twins and looked at many online forums during those first weeks. I just couldn't wrap my brain around how the hell we were going to raise two babies and a toddler, financially or mentally/emotionally. I tend to catastrophize everything (which I suppose makes me good at my job, always planning for the worst), and my thoughts paired with my morning all-day sickness made me super depressed. I felt like an awful mom for not wanting twins, which made me more depressed. I waited for a long time to share our news, and I've waited even longer to make the first weekly post. Part of me was still in shock, and another part of me was still catastrophizing. Babies, please don't be mad at me for all this someday!

Fast forward to now, and I'm in a much better place!  I'm still scared about how we'll do this, but we'll make do in our current house, we don't need new cars (yay - the car seats all fit!), and I was able to get most of what we need on craigslist or at garage sales and consignment stores. We have the most generous friends and family to help us out and support us. I'm lucky to be married to the best husband and father. We have a caring, smart, sensitive little boy who is going to be an amazing big brother. We are blessed beyond measure, and I know that we'll be okay. Bring on the babies!

Brian blames my phone for the blurry picture. I blame operator error.

How far along? 18.5 weeks - HALF WAY!
Baby Crauns' size:  I have two sweet potatoes taking up room that was meant for real sweet potatoes. Totally cramping my eating style.
Total weight gain/loss:  6 pounds by our unofficial scale. I finally started gaining weight in the last 3 weeks. 
Maternity clothes: Yep. My belly's as big as it was with Dominic at 6 months.
Stretch marks?  Yep, added like instantaneously on the tops of my thighs. But just a couple little ones thankfully. I'm anticipating some on my belly since I'm going to be as big as a duplex (according to my dad).
Sleep:  What's that?  Between all the movement, discomfort, warmth, and 3-4 trips to the bathroom I rarely get a good night's sleep. Guess that's preparing me.  
Movement:  I've been feeling those two duke it out in there since around 14 weeks. It's so crazy to feel so much movement so early, especially since Brian can't feel any of it yet. I'm excited for Dominic to feel them moving. Since 13 weeks, Dom has been saying "two" when asked what's in Mommy's belly, but he has no clue as to two of what! When we say that there are babies in my belly, he'll try to lift my shirt or dress to see them, and then give me a look like "WTF you talking about, crazy lady?"
Symptoms:  This pregnancy has been completely different from Dominic's pregnancy. I spent the first three months mostly in bed feeling like I had the worst hangover in my life, never puking but always having that feeling right there in my throat. And then that was followed by awful headaches starting around 14 weeks. Now I'm finally feeling better, but at the end of the day I crash and my feet are swollen. Dominic has been so sweet through all of it. He asks me what's wrong if I look like crap or I'm laying on the couch, and then when I say I don't feel well, he asks if my tummy hurts. My sweet little boy!
Labor signs?  None, hopefully it stays that way for a long time!
Food cravings:  Cold turkey sandwiches. Any and all fruit.
Miss anything?  Sleep. Energy. The perfect hair days I had during Dom's pregnancy. Clear skin (2 placentas = extra hormones = extra acne).
Belly button in or out?  It's almost flat. WTF I'm only 4.5 months!
Wedding rings on or off?  On unless I forget, which is frequently because I have pregnancy brain majorly.
Nursery progress:  Room and dresser are painted (preview of the room above - don't mind the ancient yucky outlet/phone-jack covers. We have almost everything purchased (for the nursery). We need to put together one of the cribs and paint the other (have fun with that Brian), and then I can get the bedding set up and the rest of the room ready. Dom helped make the artwork, and I can't wait to share it! As for other things, we're getting a cupholder-less car seat for Dom soon so they all can fit in my car. I decided on the Bob Duallie for a double stroller, but I'm having a hard time finding a used one, which means we'll probably crack and buy a new one (barf on the price). Then some odds and ends here and there and we are set! There's a Mom of Multiples garage sale coming up so I'm hoping we can get our last few "big" things there...fingers crossed.
Best moment this week:  Some random stranger at a friend's wedding found out we're having twins, and then gave me a ginormous hug. Thank you to all those people who are so excited for us! It makes it much easier for us to be excited; there's that momentary mental reprieve from the cost and logistics of raising 3 children under the age of 3.
Weekly wisdom:  We got this. After hearing all the negative things about twin pregnancies (how big you get, how hard the first few weeks are, blah, blah), I had another twin parent tell me at that same wedding that it's not as hard or as awful as everyone says it is. A few others with twins have said it won't be as bad as I'm thinking, and that it will get better, but at that moment if finally clicked. Having her tell me that seemed to lift a huge weight, and made me realize that this is going to be all mental - if we think we can, we can! I've ran two marathons and like 8 half marathons, and those are all about mental toughness. I have a feeling having twins is going to be the same.
Looking forward to:  Next week's doctor appointment to confirm gender! The best twin pregnancy bonus is the monthly ultrasound. Seeing them makes it more real and more exciting.